I don’t know if there is anything more devastating than a breakup. When a breakup occurs, the intimate relationship between two people comes to an end, and a chapter in both of their lives has closed. Oftentimes, one person has thought long and hard about whether or not to leave their partner, but does not communicate their confliction until it is too late. It’s natural for both individuals to experience a mixture of emotions such as confusion, resentment, and devastation.
“How can this be the end?”
“Where did things go wrong?”
“Can’t we figure this out together?”
“Why am I the only one who wants to save this relationship?”
Let’s Get Real
If you’re reading this right now and these thoughts and feelings are resonating with you, please know that I understand exactly what you are going through. I myself am not immune to heartbreak. And I won’t sugar-coat it and pretend that the pain you’re going through doesn’t hurt. So, let’s cut the crap and get real; You have every right to fully embrace and experience your emotions. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
However…
I think it would be beneficial for us to examine everything that you have to gain from your relationship ending. And I’m not talking about those generic, hollow statements like, “there are plenty of fish in the sea” and “I never liked her anyway.” I’m talking about every nitty-gritty thing that signaled the relationship just wasn’t quite right.
The Good and the Bad
Yes, I know that you miss them. I’m aware that you wish they were here with you right now, watching your favorite show together, wrapped in each other’s arms. I realize that no one makes you laugh as hard as they do, or remembers to text you “Good morning, babe” every day.
But let’s not forget about all of those annoying times when they canceled plans at the last minute to spend the evening with their friends. Or that one vacation when they neglected you during the family trip to the lake. And who could overlook when they just completely forgot about your birthday that one year? Those frustrating memories are just as important to remember as the good times, because they help clarify what the relationship was in its entirety.
You Have Everything to Gain
So often in my line of work, I hear my clients say, “I feel like I’m back at square one now that I’m single again.” I would like to challenge that assessment. True, your partner is no longer with you (at least for the time being). But that doesn’t mean that your time with your ex was wasted. You grew so much in that relationship; You started new hobbies, realized that you want to raise children, and learned what is most meaningful for you in a career. All of those wonderful things might not have happened if you hadn’t met your partner. So, let’s thank your ex for everything that they offered and taught you during your time together. Let’s thank them for helping you get this far in your personal development. And, most importantly, let’s celebrate your newfound freedom to find someone who will be a better fit for you.
I’m so sorry you’re alone right now. And I know that all that you want is for things to go back to the way they were before. But I want to help you get ready for the next relationship. I want to help you find your person: the one who will give you the love and respect that you have always deserved. The one who will watch Star Wars and play Mario Kart with you even though they’re bored out of their minds, because they know it makes you happy. The one who you are willing to move to another state for because you two are just so perfect for each other. The one who shares the same dream of the future that you want.
The one who your ex helped you get ready for.
Work with me, and I will walk with you during this incredibly difficult and isolating time in your life.
I will help you get ready for the One.
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